Monday, February 28, 2011

Under the Slush Pile

Ready for a good laugh?

"I write with the truth that is like a sword of two edges that can and will penetrate each reader and leave an impression lasting at least this life time.   The material written has power that can unite a planet for the good of mankind and earth.  It may well be the only true chance that mankind has for the long awaited evolution towards spirituality."
A:      "Dear Tom Cruise, we regret to inform you that our client list is full." 

This is just the latest example of what you'll see at Slushpilehell, a site I tumbled upon recently. I love this one but there are so many more at Slushpilehell.

"I just completed my 91st short story.  But that’s not the email I wanted to send to you. To the point, I concede (read—Uncle! ).  I don’t possess the luck required to attract an agent via query letter.  But, then, I know brilliant scholars who are terrible test takers.  You are a talented agent, likely overworked.  Think outside the box.  A single talented writer possessing eight uniquely entertaining novels and ninety-one short stories could make life easier.  Call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx.  A brief conversation will save you weeks, if not months, of fruitless query reading."
A:     "Great. A writer with 8 novels, 91 short stories, and the inability to write a query letter. 
          "Hope you’re standing by your phone, because I’d hate for you to miss my call."

Just don't laugh too hard...

[One more]
         "I am typing you this digital letter requesting that your agency  represent me in securing a top-notched publisher to produce and sell my  book."

         "Hey, buddy. It’s 2011. We no longer call them “digital letters.” They’re now known as “mystical airwave bulletins.”

For more of these gems, go to   and let me know if you find a jewel.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Writers and words

Words are the be all end all to a writer. The nuances of meanings can mean the difference in writing a gem and dishing out garbage.

How much do you use a thesaurus? Do you use an online version or a handy old Roget's? Are you one of the lucky ones who has all those words in your head and you just sit back and smile when I mention thesaurai? [a stab at the plural]

Sometimes when I'm searching for jusssst the right word I'll open my Mac Thesaurus which is essentially the Oxford Thesaurus. It's very handy. But I'm a visual person, color and design stimulates my creative juices. For years I've been checking out unique versions of thesaurus like, Word Menu and Visual Thesaurus. But I haven't been willing to let loose of the cash for these yet.

Well, now there's a free visual thesaurus - with a nod to Leah for sharing this with me so I could bring this cool writer's tool to your attention...


It shows relationships between words with the color (legend at the bottom). You can double click a word and it will open a new axis of words. Double tap and drag to spread it out over your browser. And you can choose to fill your browser with the spread of words and zoom in or out. Cool, huh?


Friday, February 18, 2011

Interview with a DemonTrapper author

Hey, I'm over at Blame It On the Muse today interviewing YA fantasy author Jana Oliver whose release in January was the top seller in the UK.

Jana's chatting about her writing process, cemeteries, and plotting ideas. A very cool person. And she loves  Scotch and chocolate. What more can I say?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Don't Think of Yourself in 'Those Terms'

Okay, it's the big day. You know that big day. The one that comes around annually. The one that when you're young you hope someone - anyone - will remember, but as the years go by you pray everyone will forget. Which has to be a lie because here I am.

My friend Cadence gave me a gift certificate to this really cool site - Decalgirl They sell 'skins' for your computer to personalize and beautify it. Last year I bought 'Hal' an image of the computer on 2001 - A Space Oddysey? Now, I'm trying to decide between these three. What do you think?

Cool pixies

Aah, my colors

Awesome, Saturn up close and...

Aren't they beautiful? I may have to have two.

A friend of mine used to say, when someone asked her how old she was, "I don't think of myself in those terms..." I've always loved that. The older I get the more I view birthdays as a new chance to get it right, to enjoy the magical mystery of what's ahead.

Here are some fun quotes about birthdays:
"For weeks I've been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday, and he still forgot to bring me something. Tanya Noe.  (Tell me you haven't done that or heard it. ;))

"As one cat said to another: Birthdays are like fur balls 0 the more you have, the more you gag."
Maria Morgan. Unless you think about the alternative, Maria.

"Gray hair is God's graffiti." Bill Cosby. (Don't you just love Bill's humor.)

"Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor. Billy Elmer (Just when I was considering it...)

"I was going to take you out to lunch on your birthday but you already are." Ouch, that hits home. 

Do you have any favorite jokes or birthday stories? How you look at birthdays? Were you one of those who made fun of your parents when they were in their thirties?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

We're not exempt from the Winter blast

This is the outlook for today.

They are saying up to 1/2 inch of ice possible through tonight. Helloooo, we're in central Louisiana just west of the point in the ankle of the boot. People here aren't experienced with winter conditions. Ice here can be the Lake Shore Drive event on the bayou.

And speaking of Lake Shore Drive, did you see these pics on the Weather channel?

Can you imagine coming back to a car slam full of snow?

But look, how fun. Catch the wave..............